Tonight we dine on the Eastern Conference!

 

Via sports frog‘s message board, where they are posting some great old Lil’ Penny videos.

Gilbert Arenas, Plagiarist

What is the world coming to when Gilbert Arenas, writing a blog for NBA.com, steals material from a comedian? It seems like Arenas is trying a little too hard to maintain his reputation as the funny, kooky basketball guy.

I’ve written before that I find Arenas classless, and this is more evidence of that. You know all those people on the internet who think, “Oh, that zany Gilbert Arenas, I love him!”? I’m not one of them.

While I’m posting on the Wizards, at least Arenas didn’t get himself arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover cop like Andray Blatche did the other night. This all happened while a 5-year contract offer from the team was on the table, and his status with the Wiz is now up in the air — whoops!

Finally, in other NBA news, the Clippers are still cursed.

“What’s up with the shirt?”

While I’m posting old KG commercials, here’s Garnett and Brandi Chastain in a classic Nike spot.

He was really on fire with the commercials for a few years back in this era. In case you missed the reference in the ad, it’s to this.)

Tastefully Done

Kevin Garnett’s arrival in Boston brings to mind his classic ESPN the Magazine commercial with Stephon Marbury.

Meanwhile, Bob Ryan offers an important reality check.

Did I miss the memo in which David Stern proclaimed that in the 2007-08 season the NBA will be a three-on-three competition?

It is a little disconcerting that the Celtics gave up half the roster in the trade for Garnett and that they now have to sign a bunch of D-league players to fill out the roster. But at least there’s finally some buzz around the team, so I guess that’s for the good. Whether they can really contend, who knows — relying on three 30-plus guys to play big minutes is risky, and injuries could easily sink them.

Allan Ray Waived, Jokes About Name Confusion Prevented

I was actually kinda sad to see that Allan Ray was waived by the Celtics and that he will be playing in Italy this season, rather than for the Green alongside newly acquired Ray Allen. The bizarre comedic potential was pretty high there. Oh well.

Luckily for Allan Ray, he will get paid $2 million overseas, rather than the $600k or so his Celtics deal would have called for. And he also won’t be stuck on the bench because the guy getting all of the minutes at his position happens to have his first and last names inverted. On the negative side, the name jokes could have become what Allan Ray was known for; instead, he will still be primarily known for getting his eye poked out during the Big East Tournament, which is a lot less humorous.

Screw You, Yi

If you’re going to come play in the NBA, you should have to play for the team that drafts you. Period.

Yi Jianlian seems to think the rules don’t apply to him, and he’s trying to force a trade from Milwaukee. So far the Bucks are holding firm, writes Marty Burns, and I say good for them. As Burns notes:

After all, what is the point of having a draft if players don’t have to report to their new teams?

What if Greg Oden refused to play in Portland? Or Kevin Durant in Seattle?

You have no inherent right to play in a large market where there are lots of Asian people, Yi. Suck it up and go play in Milwaukee.

In other NBA news, the Phoenix Suns have signed Grant Hill, in a move that puzzles me–they already have Jalen Rose riding the bench, and Hill isn’t any better at this point, in my estimation. I’m also excited to see the debut of the new-look Portland Trailblazers Friday night as they take on the Celtics scrubs in the Las Vegas Summer League. I wonder what the over/under is for Oden dunks on Leon Powe?

Karma and the NBA Draft Lottery

As a bitter Celtics fan today, I will try to keep this brief. The NBA draft lottery results show that tanking is undoubtedly wrong because even when you debase your franchise by throwing the season on purpose, you just get more ping pong balls, which is no guarantee of later success (one would’ve thought the Celtics had learned this lesson a decade ago, but I digress…). The bad karma kept Memphis, Boston, and Milwaukee from reaping the reward for their disgusting display during the 2006-07 campaign, and I think there is some amount of justice in that.

Congratulations to Portland fans, who will team a franchise center with their other good young players to make a run at the playoffs next year and probably for a decade to come. The interesting question for the Blazers is whether they now choose to deal the troubled Zach Randolph and move LaMarcus Aldridge to PF with Oden at center. That team could use a veteran mentor-type, even if they have to trade Randolph for a lot less than his scoring and rebounding would suggest he’s worth.

Seattle also won last night, with Durant likely heading to that franchise, wherever it ends up playing. Bill Simmons indicated this might save NBA basketball in that city in his column yesterday (I await his depressing column this afternoon on the results), and the major question for the Sonics will now be whether Rashard Lewis becomes expendable in free agency. Durant could project as a 3 or 4 in the pros, and if the Sonics keep Lewis, the trio of Lewis, Durant, and Ray Allen could be an exceedingly entertaining, prolific offensive group.

I know there are other guys in the draft who could end up being pretty good too, and the Celtics could get a nice player at #5, but this is all pretty hard to take right now. When your team blows the season on purpose, you feel like there damn well better be some reward for enduring the taunts of your friends about an 18-game losing streak.

MORE: Henry Abbott says not to assume Portland will take Oden necessarily. Eric Wilbur says the Celtics are now officially irrelevant.

Can You Dig It?

Warriors: you guys are the big dudes, huh?

One of the many positives to come out of Golden State’s postseason success is that it inspired TrueHoop to post a link the other day to the original trailer for The Warriors.

Much like the Coney Island street gang that faced long odds, the basketball team of the same name prevailed tonight, defeating the top-seeded Dallas Mavericks in the first round of the NBA playoffs.

I initially pegged this as a competitive series, but I still expected Dallas to prevail in six games (and eventually win the championship — so much for that prognostication). Rather than being the “Road Warriors” I thought they might have to be, it proved to be enough for Golden State to steal game one on the road and then rely on their raucous home crowd to get the three additional victories.

There were so many subplots that have already been pretty well discussed everywhere during the course of the six games: a 67-win Dallas team losing in round one, the first time a #1 has ever dropped a best-of-seven to a #8 and only the third such loss ever; Golden State thrilling its fans by advancing in its first playoff appearance since 1994; the bitterness between Mark Cuban and Don Nelson; Dirk Nowitzki’s disappearing act; and on and on.

This is one of those playoff series I’ll remember watching ten years from now.

The NBA Hates Mormons

Continuing with the trend of recklessly accusing the National Basketball Association of bias, I will note that tonight’s Utah Jazz-Houston Rockets Game 6 is starting at 8pm Eastern, which is 6pm Rocky Mountain Time. I guess the Utahns will be skipping out of work early to go see their Jazz try to stay alive, if they can get away. At least they’ll have plenty of time to hit the bars after the game… oh wait.

“I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable”

Antoine Walker and George Costanza are on the same wavelength.

This is the only image I could find online (photo link via this guy) of Walker’s red velvet suit. SportsCenter this morning had a clip of Antoine’s postgame remarks while wearing this get-up, which I enjoyed mightily.